She sat down next to me at breakfast with a sugary sweet smile.
A new person signed up for one of our events with great enthusiasm.
I love that, yet I always pray the enthusiasm is for God, goodness and service.
But wait…
Instead of being excited about the masters’ materials, she seems more interested in me.
A totally imperfect human, learning to clumsily and roughly move along with God’s grace.
She sat a little too close, wore too much perfume, held eye contact longer than my lover…
Cut open strawberries for me and suggest I eat them…pushes them again when I say no…
My body says it’s another trap.
Placing her phone down on the breakfast table, I notice something and my heart skips a beat.
The screensaver on her phone is a photo of my dogs.
My dogs - pictured on a stranger's phone.
Let that sink in. Especially, with my history.
Never having met this person and only interacting online for a few months, I clock it.
My heart begins to race. I choose to say nothing. And observe.
Hairs on the back of my neck at full attention.
You see, it's not the first time I've seen it.
I have seen it a million times throughout my life.
It’s someone thinking I have something they do not.
It’s not about my looks or anything human - through the mind often makes it into that.
They’re after The Light - that will never belong to me or anyone.
Something they can get from me through seduction.
Only though surrender to God.
It’s the videographer, caressing my pony tail, whispering sugary sweet words in my ear.
Every cell in my body says run. Run for your life.
Knowing I am as straight as they come… why the jezebel act?
Her eyes start changing in her photographs.
Her whatsapp profile is now a seductress where a sweet wide eyed being used to sit.
Was it always a mask?
Only God knows. It’s only His business.
The human friend who begins to dress like me.
Who seems to enter into a competition that only they know about.
If I have professional photos made, they must go do it too.
When I find myself in a loving relationship, they rush into one with the next dude they find on Hinge.
There’s the woman who for years treats this space and me like a man would treat a woman with low self esteem.
Being enamoured with the materials.
Blowing up and running away.
Coming back full of sob stories so you take them back.
Doing it again and again over six years.
After the last event, she starts a blog about toxic masculinity.
Except it has not been integrated inside of her, so - of course as the law of cause and effect goes - she keeps attracting the same men - because she acts like one.
All experience is energy trying to come home for integration - without integration, the longer it is avoided the more distorted it becomes.
A woman on facebook posts about integration and healing today and making fun of people for asking about human problems. Calling them out.
She was in my Direct Messages early this year complaining she had no money and needed a man.
It’s the blog about toxic masculinity when the toxic masculinity lives in them.
Refusing to look in the mirror that is calling out desperately to them.
Another pushes anyone and everyone out of the way so she can sit up front and be the closest to me - at every event.
I mean this tiny older lady would elbow you to the curb. Hiss at you if you got in her way.
When I come back from a dinner - where I had several glasses of wine AFTER channeling - she has been waiting for my return in the bushes.
She pops out of the bushes and violently grabs my arm.
I am shocked and terrified.
“I’m doing it now,” she repeats over and over again with black eyes.
I pull up a chair and ask her to sit down.
The devil shows up for tea, you put on a pot.
She signs up for every event and tries to increase her donation to a very large amount.
A feeding tax.
After ensuring she found a therapist (because I really do care about all these souls, deeply), I asked her to move on.
I will open my instagram account and she’s gone through and liked all my posts.
Like a toxic ex-boyfriend.
Someone gets upset and triggered by a communication prior to the event and it causes great distress for the event organizer.
The person who wrote the communication elated her communication had the power to trigger someone, instead of seeing the hurt feelings of the organizer with empathy.
She beams with a shit eating grin - filled up on her power to trigger - behind her big fancy camera she uses as a mask to hide who she truly is - completely empty and void of all God communication.
All Obsession
- whether it plays out here, or is placed in a toxic relationship, or otherwise -
stems from the severed connection between You and God.
In absence of direct God communication, one seeks power.
Power says you have control over God.
It tells you, you are God and don’t need Him.
Because you are Power itself - you are own source that can bypass God.
The ego protects itself at all costs.
It will lose power if it admits this kind of behavior.
The ego will lose its shape if it finally goes in and looks at everything it’s been avoiding.
Guarantee everyone above will say that never happened.
I used to delete emails and such and now I have to keep them in case my dead body washes up on shore.
If there’s witness and paper trails and the ego is backed into a corner, they have a sob story about what kind of time they were having.
But not until they know they are caught. That’s only when the sob stories begin.
Those in the wego experience say hmmm, that’s something I need to look at.
There’s a part of my darkness I need to embrace so I can expand into my true self.
When I find repressed garbage in myself, I get excited.
Finally! Let me own this so I can shine brighter.
In any experience, the wego and I go within.
What do I need to face, what do I need to look at?
Why am I attracting this? How can I handle it better?
My prayers and meditations are:
God, show me what I have been avoiding.
God, show me where I missed the mark.
God, show me where I am being hypocritical.
God, I am sophisticated enough to know I am not sophisticated enough to declare myself done with anything. Show me some more sophistication.
If anything gross happens, I say let me call my therapist as I do from time to time to address human situations, knowing I cannot always see myself or others behavior clearly in the fog of disincarnate aspects flying around on their broomsticks.
I have done way too much benefit of the doubt(ing) in my past, so that must be looked at.
Morya on my shoulder calling me out on all my own bullshit my whole life.
That’s love. Thank you, Morya.
Be patient, God isn’t finished with me yet.
And He won’t be ever.
I’ll always have something more to learn about myself and create anew from.
There will always been another layer of darkness to oncover.
Healing is a constant and persistent way of life.
You become comfortable with it.
You learn how it generates New Energy from within,
Rather than something that needs to be begged for, borrowed or stolen from another.
Standing in God’s Light will change you.
You don’t change It, to meet your ego’s needs.
Something Kuthumi talked about in our second recording from last weekend.
It’s up for YouTube members and it will be made public on Sunday - with bonus shares on the website.
We will talk about all this Cosmic Egoism and interference in our Donor materials starting in December on the donor pages.
In the meantime, as things slow in these heavy planetary traffic times and the Mind of Light Wave intensifies.
You can always ask the Big Guy or Gal - the Great Central Sun - to shine a light on all you have been avoiding so you can alchemize it and begin to shine brighter from the true Source, not anyone elses.
We have to look at everything.
The Mind of Light can handle what the Atlantean Designed Mind was programmed to reject (Self Awareness)
If you’re going to be in Limerence, make sure it’s with the Divine.
Limerence is a state of involuntary, obsessive romantic or emotional obsession with another person—referred to as the "limerent object"— that is driven primarily by low self esteem and lack of divine confidence/ humility - which are one and the same.
Below is screenshot one of you sent me to help understand this…
